The Afghanistan Trip
by NoThaTerrible
Summary: Sora, now in charge of Toyota, gets kidnapped by Axel. Now, he has just three days to escape a bus heading towards Afghanistan, or he will be sacrificed to Zeus in an attempt to resurrect Sadam Hussein.


I was just sitting in my office, polishing my keyblade, when King Mickey entered my office.

"Sora," he said, "I need those TPS reports asap."

"Yes, sir," I replied, stashing my keyblade in my drawer, "I'll get those to you right away."

"Sora?" asked the King, taking a seat in front of my desk, "You look sad. What's the matter?"

"I-I guess I'm just bored. I miss going on adventures with Goofy and Donald. Sitting in an office all day…it's just not doing it for me."

"Well," said the King, rising from the seat and walking to my side, "If you really feel that way…"

The King put a business card on my desk.

"Give this guy a call. He's looking for people with…special…talents."

The King kissed my lips, smiled, and exited my office. Then I picked up the card and read it.

_Lexa Inc. and Co. and Friends._

_Looking for work? Gimme a call at 696-696-6969_

Lexa…why did that name sound so familiar? Well, I was pretty bored, so I gave the guy a call.

"Lexa Inc. and Co. and Friends. This is Saxor, how may I help you?" answered a voice on the other side of the line.

"H-hey," I replied, twirling my luscious locks of hair with my fingers, "I'm looking for," I paused to read the business card, "Lexa? I heard he's looking for work."

"Ah yes," said the voice, "We've been expecting a call from you. Lexa wishes to see you…_in person. _Would you mind coming over?"

"Sure. Where are you guys located at?" I took out a pen and notepad to write down the address.

"We're located at 34 Boulevard, West Hollow Bastion Way. Can you come over at around 5 o'clock?"

"Sure thing. Thank you."

"No, thank _you_. Bye bye now."

And just like that, I was about to start my next adventure. It felt strange though; how were they expecting a call from me? I don't even know who this Lexa person is. Oh well, I didn't care. I just left my office and was about to head for the Hollow Bastion.

I approached my company car: a 2012 Toyota Prius. It's a plug-in hybrid. It gets 45 mpg and has 150 horsepower. It's capable of going from 0 to 30 in 10 seconds flat. With a comfortable interior and a cool, white exterior, the Toyota Prius is a car suitable for anybody on any age/race/sex. At just 20,000 dollars, even those in poverty should be able to afford it. With a down payment of just 3000 dollars, you can purchase the car and pay it off in as little as 2 years at 0 percent interest.

I hopped in and switched the radio station to my favorite station: 101.5 Fresh FM.

"Get ready to experience all of your favorite songs from the olden days, right here, at 101.5 Fresh FM," said the radio DJ. I put on my shades and started driving towards Hollow Bastion.

I pulled up in front of the address and exited my vehicle. This office complex was enormous; I had never seen anything like it before. I entered the double doors and approached the receptionist.

"Hey there, handsome," said the receptionist, licking his lips, "You must be Sora."

"That's me," I replied, holding out my hand. The receptionist stood up, grabbed my hand, and kissed it.

"Lexa has been waiting for you, sweetie," said the receptionist, pulling apart his shirt. I glanced at the name tag, which read _Saxor_, and realized that this was the representative I spoke to over the phone.

"Okay, I'll just go up to his office then," I said, walking away from the desk.

"Bye, hun," said Saxor, oiling his hairy chest as I walked away.

I walked upstairs and saw Lexa's office to the right. No one was inside, at the moment, but I walked in anyways and took a seat. The office was rather small, but it was cozy. The walls were painted red, and they were plastered with pictures of different kinds of chakrams. Suddenly, my phone rang.

I removed my phone from my pocket. It was an iPhone 4S. In addition to having 16 GB of internal memory, the phone also came with a high-definition Retina display. With a crystal clear image, I could look at high resolution porn with ease.

I started texting my girlfriend: Cinderella.

Me:

Where r u babe?

Cindy:

Blowing someone atm. Brb.

I put away my phone and looked up. I saw a man. No wait, it wasn't just a _man_. It was the most handsome thing in the world. His golden red hair was legendary.

"…" he said, sitting in his chair, "You must be Sora."

"That's me," I said, shaking his hand, "I presume you are Lexa?"

"Indeed," he said, sipping his freshly-brewed cup of Starbucks. I wonder what kind of coffee it was? Could it have been a frappuccino? Or a cappuccino? Or perhaps he was feeling fancy and decided to go with decaf. Regardless, that coffee smelled sublime. I spent the entire conversation pondering what type of beans were used to brew his drink. Were they of a dark roast variety? There were so many possibilities…

"So, Sora," he said, brushing his teeth right in front of my face, "I heard you want a job."

"Yes sir," I said, smiling diligently.

"Sora," he said, "Do you mind if I take off my shirt?"

"No sir," I replied, still smiling.

Lexa disrobed and revealed a perfect set of abs. His musculature was unreal; it looked unlike any other set of abs I have ever seen before.

"Wow, Lexa," I said in awe, "How often do you work out?"

"Not that often. Just whenever I get the chance. When I'm not smoking weed with my buddies, I'm working out with my personal trainer."

"Wow," I said, raising my eyebrows.

"Do _you_ want to show me what you're hiding under your shirt, Sora?" he said, cocking his head to one side.

"Well…I mean I don't have a set of abs as marvelous as yours, but I'll show you anyways."

I lifted my shirt over my head and felt a sting on my chest. I looked down and saw a needle protruding from between my nipples. I looked back up and saw Lexa holding a tranquilizer gun. After that, it was all a blur…I must've passed out.


End file.
